Learning How to become a Father (Part 1): Losing Dad on a First Friday

"Learning How to become a Father" are reflections on Spiritual Fatherhood. They are not mature reflections on the theme and may be considered more "experiences" and meditations through which we come to Spiritual Fatherhood in the Priesthood. As a seminarian I know that this will be the identity and challenge I am called to take on especially in these last years of priestly formation.

 

 

The Prodigal Son

 

 

Almost 10 years have past since my father's passing. I received the call on a First Friday, day dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Our Lord. It was my brother, Andrew. We hadn't talked in a year. The conversation was simple - we became timid as I began to intuit that something was wrong - he got to the point. For me that moment continues to stop time dead in its tracks.

"I think Dad died."



I can't remember another moment in my life where I felt my heart skip a beat - just one beat - but it skipped. Next, I got what details I could from Andrew and I promised I would be back in Atlanta as soon as I could. The pragmatic mover and shaker side of me took over and I forgot to wonder what had just happened - just, how can I make it home as soon as posible?. In prayer I searched out a meaningful passage that I had just recently read.

"...he went up on the mountain by himself to pray...During the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them...[Jesus] spoke to them, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” (Mt 14:22-27)

I didn't sleep. I froze. I felt an immense loneliness. Morning came and I was dizzy after having had a fitful night. Opening the Bible to the passage I began my morning prayer. I read it but I didn't recognize the text. I wondered what was going on. I read it a second time and it read:

"He walked along from there and saw two other brothers, James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John. They were in a boat, with their father Zebedee, mending their nets. He called them, and immediately they left their boat and their father and followed him." (Mt 4:21-22)

I had been so tired I had mistaken Matthew 14 with Matthew 4. The fact dawned on me during mental prayer:


 "they left their boat and their father and followed Him"

I wept. The bells rang. I woke up. Your Father is no longer. Then a certainty came over me as a wave over the waters. You have a Father [God] in Heaven. I wept of hurt and lost love. There could be no better summing up of losing a father than what a kind Irish lady by my side had to say on the return trip:

"Losing a parent is as losing half your heart".





The next days went by in a flurry. Flights...Funeral home...Prayer...Greetings...I don't remember too much from these days but I can say that I went away different. Despite the hurt and the pain I was able to carry a smile all the while. I carried a secret in my heart: I have a Father in Heaven...and He Loves me.

I was purchasing a bottle of water at the airport when the cashier handed me my change. She looked up and stared. I didn't realize what I had been doing. It was then she paid me one of the most beautiful complements I had ever received: "You have a beautiful Smile". I reeled. I thought, "right here, right now? After everything I'm going through?" But the fact remains,

"Those who believe are never alone – neither in life nor in death."

Joseph Card. Ratzinger - Funeral Homily JPII

Lesson 1- First step of Spiritual Fatherhood is to discover that you have a Father in Heaven above and beyond the Father here on Earth. Only then can we begin understand the role we are called to as Spiritual Fathers for souls.

Padre Álvaro - Un Tributo en el Año de la Fe

Durante los últimos días hemos tenido entre nosotros alguien conocido entre nosotros simplemente como «Padre Álvaro». Hace ya casi un año recibimos juntos el diagnóstico diagnóstico grave que tenía cancro cerebral (Imagino que recibimos la noticia poco más tarde que él). El había - prácticamente - renunciado su encargo providencialmente el día del inicio del Año de la Fe, 11 de octubre de 2012.

El Año de la Fe se nos va pasando y dentro de poco terminará. En este mismo marco quisiera ofrecer palabras de agradecimiento por este hermano, amigo, compañero pero sobre todo «Padre».

Aunque mi intención no es ser histórico contando los sucesos pasados (y en algunas estancias - superados) me acuerdo hace casi cinco años el haber recibido la fea noticia sobre nuestro Fundador Marcial Maciel. Los hechos son tristes. Muy amargos y nadie quiere recordarles de cerca. Cuando figuraba la pesadilla que había un ramo podrido en el gran árbol de la Iglesia era en ese instante casi imposible para algunos imaginar que ese ramo podría producir «fruto bueno, fruto que perdura» para años y siglos. Sin embargo cuando humanamente la pesadilla no podría hacerse peor viéndose en ella las traiciones de un supuesto «padre» un otro Padre que se levantó para tomar las riendas y probablemente sin saberlo - ofrecerse como víctima expiatorio. Me refiero al P. Álvaro.

 

P. Álvaro Corcuera LC

 

Génesis narra que Abrahán era una persona sin familia. Su mujer era estéril. Al revelarle Dios que iba a tener una familia numerosa que sólo los astros de los cielos y la arena de la playa podían expresarla hizo Abrahán lo que cuenta en dos palabras la Biblia, «Abrahán Creó» (Gen 15,6). En este momento la Historia de la Salvación vio otro ramo aparecer. Comenzó un pueblo de la fe, Un Pueblo de Dios. Habla la Biblia en otros momentos de la contrariedad o realidad paradoxal de la fe. La fe de Moisés y la de David son emblemáticas. Moisés, un tartamudo exiliado fue al encontrar el Rey de reyes de ese entonces para redimir su pueblo. David, pastorcillo con nada más que cinco piedrecitas fue al encuentro con el gigante Goliat. Sin embargo los tres personajes del Antiguo Testamento hacen a un punto u otro la misma pregunta: «¿Qué me vas a dar?» (Cf. Gen. 15; Exo. 3; 1 Sam 17). Y ¿por qué no, no merecemos algo de nuestros esfuerzos?

El «En el principio» del Nuevo Testamento comienza esta vez con la fe de una mujer, la de María. «Hágase en mí según tu palabra – Fiat» (Lucas 1). Y de este modo recibimos la Luz del Mundo, Jesucristo y en él una nueva vida. Él nos reveló – como que desveló - toda una nueva panorámica de Dios. Dios misericordioso y amante que «tiene sed» de perdonar y acompañarnos, tanto es así que quiere «ser uno» con nosotros como es con Dios Padre. Misterio Insondable. «Quédate en mí y yo en tí» (Juan 15), decía El. Y los que se quedan con el conviven con la esperanza de una confianza absoluta e indestructible. La gracia que baja desde Dios es capaz de hacer de cada uno -una parte integrante de la viña del Señor. No hay duda que «el Padre poda», limpia y nos hace crecer más sin embargo, somos uno con Dios. Los grandes profetas del Antiguo Testamento se hacen chicos ante este acontecer. Ya cada uno es uno con el árbol más grande, fecundo y hermoso. Dios hace de nuestra poquedad – una grandeza.  
 

Recibe aplauso en el comedor del

Centro de Estudios Superiores en Roma 

Es hermoso hablar de vida espiritual y contemplar lo grande que es Dios (y lo grande que nos puede hacer de nuestra pequeñez). Sin embargo, el mismo Dios Padre que nos perdona y quiere, nos poda y limpia. Tanto es así que su propio hijo aprendió a obedecer «con sufrimiento» (Heb 5,8). La Cruz. La Noche Oscura por la que pasó el Movimiento durante los momentos más pesados era Nuestra Cruz. Eran y son tiempos misteriosos. Sólo Dios comprende y puede explicar los sucesos paso por paso. Y durante esta limpia donde Dios poda «para que diese más fruto» (Jn 15) hay un cuerpo de padres y hermanos que creen en Dios y consecuentemente en su Iglesia, el Movimiento y la Legión. Entre la multitud sobresale uno que no pretende ser perfecto sino uno entre muchos. Uno sin el cual seguramente la Legión y Regnum Christi hubiera faltado mucho. Lo suyo era creer firmemente que «todas las cosas interviene Dios para bien de los que le aman» especialmente para los «que han sido llamados según su designio» (Rom 8,28). Podemos hipotetizar el designio de Dios para el P. Álvaro. No tengo juicio ninguno. Jesucristo y su Vicario canonizan personas – no yo. No tengo ilusiones que es un hombre sin fallo ninguno, sin mirar hacia atrás con vergüenza alguna. Sin embargo si no fuera por El muchos de nosotros hubiéramos faltado a alguien importante en nuestras vidas. Cuando un padre nos dejaba otro dijo «Sí» quiéranlo o no sus hijos. Este sí, este fiat de parte del P. Álvaro, ha sido el esperar paradoxal – un «esperar contra toda esperanza» (Rom 4,18). Y por esta fe estamos.

Nuestro Señor hablaba de que terminando de haber hecho lo que prometimos hacer «nos debemos de llamar “siervos inútiles”» (Lucas 17). Aunque muchos lo llaman «inútil» juzgándole por lo peor creo yo que no es ni para la historia ni nadie a juzgar a una persona sino Dios.

Cuando «La palabra del Señor era rara en aquellos días, y la visión no era frecuente» (1 Sam 3) había sí alguien que creía y cambió un designio que parecía imposible. Le doy un agradecimiento cordial y filial de parte de un amigo, hermano, e hijo al Padre Álvaro. Sé que vuelve a los tratamientos de quimioterapia el lunes que viene. Le acompañaremos. No está solo. Sé que es poco posible tenerle presente para mi ordenación sacerdotal. Sin embargo le invito, P. Álvaro, a acompañarme para mi cantamisa. Le pido que me acompañe y me guíe paso a paso al ascender los grados del altar y tenerle al lado con mano firme.

 



 

Book Review: UNDAUNTED COURAGE - the case of Meriwether Lewis

William Ahrendt's Meriwether Lewis, First View of the RockiesFound in http://www.williamahrendt.com/portfolio.php

I just finished an interesting read about one of our nation's least known heros, Meriwether Lewis. The book is entitled with Thomas Jefferson's unforgettable eulogy about the explorer extraordinaire. If you think a camping trip in a state park can be rustic think about crossing North America (literally coast-to-coast) and coming back! 

But one question - Why did he end up Commiting Suicide?

If a man was capable of crossing our nation - without the help of any locomotive - and come back! why wasn't he capable of the life-after-voyage?

My two-cent perspective goes like this: 

You can't live your Life Journey thinking that Journey's End, Your Life's Purpose, is HERE on Earth. We can only pray: "Thy Will be Done...On Earth as it is in Heaven...only in heaven do we have our answer. 

Heaven is our Journey's End

and Nothing on Earth can take its place.

Stephen Ambrose, authored the book in 1996. There is no doubt that it can be considered one of his best works. To think of what virgin America would have looked like. The descriptions of Lewis and Clarks' crossing of the Rockies, their hunting expeditions, etc. If you like adventure - this book is for you (or would make a good Christmas present)

Ambrose boasts a precise account having utilized all the available resources. It is as several of his other pieces have been, a dry read. I have noted this in other works of his but in this case I think it would follow Lewis' portrayal of events since - as amply quoted in Amrose's book - Lewis also writes in a very dry. The descriptions despite their accuracy can at times be, again, dry.

Meriwether Lewis
William Peale
http://commons.wikimedia.org

I finish off with Jefferson's unforgettable eulogy. One long - Presidentially Long - Run-on sentence:

“Of courage undaunted, possessing a firmness and perseverance of purpose which nothing but impossibilities could divert from its direction, careful as a father of those committed to his charge, yet steady in the maintenance of order and discipline, intimate with the Indian character, customs, and principles; habituated to the hunting life, guarded by exact observation of the vegetables and animals of his own country against losing time in the description of objects already possessed; honest, disinterested, liberal, of sound understanding, and a fidelity to truth so scrupulous that whatever he should report would be as certain as if seen by ourselves – with all these qualifications as if selected and implanted by nature in one body for this express purpose, I could have no hesitation in confiding the enterprise to him. To fill up the measure desired, he wanted nothing but a greater familiarity with the technical language of the natural sciences, and readiness in the astronomical observations necessary for the geography of his route. To acquire these he repaired immediately to Philadelphia, and placed himself under the tutorage of the distinguished professors of that place.” 

(Thomas Jefferson)

a Summer of Hope - Summer Photography

Best of Photography - July, August, September

Here is a collection of some of the best phots I took throughout the summer right up to now. I include a title and some information under each one. I would love your critique.

To see them 'up close and personal' just click on the images



Together We Kneel

(June 29 - Sts. Peter and Paul)

Via Crucis - Way of the Cross

Sorrentine Peninsula, (near Naples) Italy

Cemetery in the Alps

Italian Alps (Alto Adige - South Tyrol)

At the Brow of Dusk

Rosengarten - Il Catinaccio (Alto Adige - South Tyrol), Italy

Mans Best Friend Lingers On

Mt. Schlern (Alto Adige - South Tyrol), Italy

Virgin and Child

Meran (Alto Adige - South Tyrol), Italy

Panna Cotta at Sabbatini's

Trastevere - Rome, Italy

The Faith of an Apostle

St. John Lateran Basilica - Rome, Italy

At the Doors of Faith

St. Mary Major Basilica - Rome, Italy

Psalm Four

"Holy Countenance of Jesus" - Manoppello, Italy

Woman in Prayer before Padre Pio Incorrupt

San Giovanni Rotondo, Italy

Seminary Chapel

Legion of Christ Center for Higher Studies - Rome, Italy

Sistine Vault

(Taken with Permission)

Sistine Chapel - Vatican City

The Fellowship of Glory

St. Peter's Basilica - Vatican City

20 Years - Regina Apostolorum

Legionary Fathers - Regina Apostolorum Pontifical Athenaeum - Rome, Italy

A Face of Hope in the Living Christ

(Cardinal Tagle with Cardinal Ouellet)

Legion of Christ Center for Higher Studies - Rome, Italy

Padre Pio

Percile, Italy

A Horizon of Hope

Legion of Christ Center for Higher Studies - Rome, Italy

I promise

Legionary Brothers in Perpetual Profession

Legion of Christ Center for Higher Studies - Rome, Italy

St. Peter's by Morning

St. Peter's Square - Vatican City

St. Catherine

Rome, Italy

"Something New" - Spritiual Exercises for a New School Year

a Horizon of Hope
Southward view from Legion of Christ Center for Higher Studies - Rome, Italy

Tomorrow, a new school year begins. "New!" some would say. To them all I have to say is "Yes, New". At our school, Regina Apostolorum Pontifical Athenaeum ( Athenaeum means University with just a few faculties - three in our case: Philosophy, Theology, and Bioethics) as in most of the Pontifical Universities in Italy the school year begins tomorrow. The reason for the tardy school year comes from the age-old (medieval) calendars of starting school years late and ending them late as well (June 29 - Feast of Sts. Peter, Patron of Rome, marks the end of the school year).

To prepare for the year we have been on a retreat called "Spiritual Exercises" for 8 consecutive days in which we practiced monastic silence and sought the heights of  contemplative prayer.

- The first days ("1st week") are difficult to approach since we're not monks! We consider the Primordial Questions of Life: Where did I come from? Where am I going? Who am I?

- The 3rd day we considered the final destination of our lives: The Last Truths...Death, Judgment, Hell, Heaven (obviously we're not shooting for Hell!)

- Throughout the next days we considered the Life of Our Lord going through the most important moments of his life.

St. Ignatius of Loyola had been the first to live the Exercises and write out a formal way of living them out. He had originally considered them to be lived once and for a month! He considered that a mature Christian should be able to reach a decision in his life - a vocational decision - and make a morally solid comittal option in life, something that is so lacking today. (Obviously this is something that can only happen with God's blessing).

Henceforth we've seen the beauty of returning to the same themes over and over so as to ever grow in them. It has been over a decade since the first time I participated in them. I thank God for the ever increasing capacity to get to know myself and to get to know God.

Through the Light of Faith I sense that I can open my eyes to a Horizon filled with Hope!

Padre Pio - Pray for Me

I didn't have a special devotion to Padre Pio. I found myself invited to join a group on a Pilgrimage to San Giovanni Rotondo just a few weeks ago. God had a plan.



San Giovanni Rotondo - Church



 

Besides the awesome fact that I was on the trip with wonderful company and a guide who had met and knew St. Pio of Pietralcina years ago I didn't know quite what to expect. The grounds are now extensive. What was once a deserted town 'quite a ways a way' is still applicable (especially if you're travelling from Rome). Nevertheless, the Black and White stills hanging in the walls of the museum do not seem at all what we see today.

 

 

Statue of Padre Pio - Percile, Italy

 

 

At the center of the town stands the old Church of the Assunta (Our Lady of the Assumption). Within the small Church stands the Altar and Confessional where the 'Miracle Worker' performed his greatest miracles: Changing Bread and Wine to the Body and Blood of Jesus; Forgiving the Sins of the droves of people in search of Divine Mercy.

 

 

Brother Eric praying in the Choir Chapel of the Stigmata



For me the spiritual experience was in floor 'up above' of the Church - the Choir Chapel where Padre Pio received the Stigmata. Funny, Brother Eric, also felt it there. Padre Pio had prayed in the midst of the world's confusion, violence, and hatred to take upon himself - in reparation - for all things that hurt God to take the hurt upon himself.

 

There is something very priestly about it all.

 

I don't pray for stigmata or extra hurt but I do ask that our Lord bring down His Mercy and also offer the sacrifices of each and every day.

 

St. Pio, Pray for us!

 

 

 





Breakfast with a Cardinal

To breakfast is a gift...many do not wake up to corn flakes, coffee or croissants. Just yesterday I had breakfast with one of the many special guests in our seminary, Cardinal Tagle. The Cardinal-Archbishop of Manila (the second youngest member of the College of Cardinals- now aged 56) and the Spiritual Leader of the only "Catholic Country" in Asia - sat down, not with the rest of the 100+ Bishops - but with just ordinary seminarians.

It was out of the blue. I hadn't expected it one bit and it left an impression on me.

 



Greeting Cardinal Ouellet

 

The Cardinal is authentically Asian. He talks like an Asian. He smiles like an Asian and - best of all - he laughs like an Asian. I enjoyed about an hour in which he talked about many things - but most of all - about his vocation and about our faith. He loves them. He speaks about them often. Because you really can't live your vocation if you don't live your faith.

 

 

I don't know if I will have another chance to sit down with a Cardinal over breakfast again but I hope that chance comes again - and I hope it is with Him. I could sum up our meeting in two words:

 

Gaudium et Spes

Joy and Hope



Presiding Mass in the seminary - New Bishops Course in Session
(officially called "Pilgrimage to St. Peter's Tomb")